自我實現者的人格特徵

心理學家馬思洛(Maslow)提出自我實現作為健康人格持續發展的最高境界。自我實現者就是能實現真我的人，能忠於自己，盡展個人潛能。他從一些偉人身上歸納出自我實現者以下的特質：

1.             能準確客觀地洞悉現實。(對身處環境中的人和事物都有較敏銳的觸覺，能明辨真偽，準確判斷實況，能面對生活中許多新奇、未知、不肯定和不熟悉的事物而不致驚惶失措。)

2.             接納自我、他人和大自然。(不卑不亢地看待自己和別人的優點和缺點。)

3.             自發性。(不盲從附和，思想和行動都具自發性。)

4.             以問題為中心。(不自我中心，能面對及解決困難。)

5.             需要獨處的空間。(懂得享受獨處。)

6.             能客觀理解事物。

7.             能在平凡中找到生趣。

8.             有高峰經驗。

9.             關心人的福祉。(對人類有深切的共鳴、憐憫和慈悲。)

10.            與少數人建立起深厚的情誼。

11.            民主。

12.            不會為求達到目的而不擇手段。

13.            富幽默感。

14.            有豐富的創造力。

15.            不妥協於身處的文化。他們不隨波逐流。

彭運石，《走向生命的顛峰：馬斯洛的人本心理學》，(臺北：貓頭鷹出版，2001)，頁167-172。

Patterns of the Happiest People

Below is a sample of my observations, as well as those of other researchers, of the thinking and behavior patterns of the happiest participants in our studies:

• They devote a great amount of time to their family and friends, nurturing and enjoying those relationships.
• They are comfortable expressing gratitude for all they have.
• They are often the first to offer helping hands to coworkers and passersby.
• They practice optimism when imagining their futures.
• They savor life’s pleasures and try to live in the present moment.
• They make physical exercises a weekly and even daily habit.
• They are deeply committed to lifelong goals and ambitions.
• Last but not least, the happiest people do have their share of stresses, crises, and even tragedies. They may become just as distressed and emotional in such circumstances as you or I, but their secret weapon is the poise and strength they show in coping in the face of challenge.

 Sonja Lyubomirsky, “The How of Happiness: a scientific approach to getting the life you want,” (New York: The Penguine Press, 2008), p.22-23

正向心理學 – 協作學習課程 (第二屆)

課程簡介

本課程以哈佛公開課程為基礎，參加者須自行在家收看錄影片段，然後在課堂上參與討論和分享。此外，學員將可在課程期內免費借用參考書籍及參與漂書換書活動。

日期：            10月3日(星期六)

課堂：            共八課，每兩星期一課

時間：            下午3:00 – 4:30

地點：            金鐘添馬公園草地 (下雨轉往iBakery餐廳)

費用：            HKD 120

名額：            新學員7人，舊學員不限

主辦：            國際協作動力

(註: 本課程是本會初級協作領袖的必修課)

什麼是協作學習？

協作學習注重參加者的自發及主動學習，參加者對自己的學習負責，並在課堂上跟其他參加者作交流及分享。協作學習講求參加者彼此的尊重和溝通，在平等的基礎上進行討論，又以資源共享等精神協助其他參加者在課題上學習。一般建議共同編寫網誌及社交網頁，以組織可持續的學習網絡。

報名

https://www.facebook.com/events/427032010817892/

http://goo.gl/forms/HVB97p3CKn

積極心理學研究的三個層面

主觀的層面

研究積極的主觀體驗：幸福感和滿足(對過去)、希望和樂觀主義(對未來)，以及快樂和幸福流(對現在)，包括它們的心理機制以及獲得的途徑。

個人的層面

研究積極的個人特質：愛的能力、工作的能力、勇氣、人際交往技巧、對美的感受力、毅力、寬容、創造性、關注未來、靈性、天賦和智慧，目前這方面的研究集中於這些品質的根源和效果上。

群體的層面

研究公民美德，和使個體成為具有責任感、利他主義、有禮貌、寬容和有職業道德的公民的社會組織，包括健康的家庭、關係良好的社區、有效能的學校、有社會責任感的媒體等。

岳曉東：《做個A+青少年：積極心理學必修的8堂課》，(香港：香港城巿大學出版社，2008)，頁6。

Break the Grip of Rumination

Rumination happens when you go over and over negative thoughts and feelings. You examine them from every angle. You question them. Though you may well intend to “think this thing through,” you don’t really get anywhere. Instead, your thinking gets stuck in a rut of endless questions, and you quickly become overwhelmed and demoralized. You’re not certain you’ll ever find the answers you seek.

This way of thinking fans the flames of negativity. That’s because when you ruminate you see everything through the distorted lens of negativity. And negativity doesn’t play fair. It doesn’t allow you to think straight or see the big picture. Studies show that when people experience negative emotions, they selectively call to mind negative thoughts. That’s simply the way our brain works: we create a chain of thoughts that are linked by their negative tone. So, when you ruminate, you dredge up thoughts that only add fuel to the fire of your negativity. And because negative emotions narrowed, negative thinking feed on each other, they drag you down…

Before you can think straight about the situation you’re facing, you need to put the brakes on the downward spiral you’re in…Fortunately, there are scientifically tested way to do so…

As with many things, the first step is awareness. You need to be able to spot the damaging cycle of rumination when it’s happening…

What seems to help most is any form of healthy distraction. Go for a jog. Swim in the ocean. Fix your bike. Lift weights at the gym...What you’re looking to do is lift your mood…Once you’re off the slippery downward slope of negativity, you’ll have eyes clear enough to dispute negative thinking…

Unhealthy  Distractions

Many people try to numb their excessive ruminations with alcohol or drugs. In fact, people who have a high tendency to ruminate are at high risk for alcohol abuse. Food can be another unhealthy distraction. Some people use food to escape painful self-awareness, which can lead to bingeing and other problematic forms of emotional eating…

Fredrickson, F. Barbara: Positivity: Top-notch research reveals the  3-to-1 ratio that will change your life. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2009. p.163-166.

Dream about your Future

Another simple way to boost your positivity is to dream frequently about your future. Conjure up the best possible outcomes for yourself. Visualize your future successes in great detail. People who are assigned at random to carry out such an exercise show reliable increases in their positivity relative to those who carry out more mundane self-reflections. Although it’s not yet clear how visualization works, one suggestion is that it gives you insight into how your everyday goals and motives fit into your dreams about your future. This may well help you extract more goodness out of your daily activities. Strikingly, visualization has been shown to activate the same brain areas as actually carrying out those same visualized actions. That’s why visualization has been such a powerful tool for winning athletes. Mental practice can perhaps be just as effective as physical practice. At the very least, it’s a positive and energizing complement. Visualization may work especially well if you have long-range projects, such as getting an education, writing a book, or building community.

Fredrickson, F. Barbara: Positivity: Top-notch research reveals the  3-to-1 ratio that will change your life. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2009. p.189.

漸進式的改變

「快樂推進器」能助人順利度過改變的過程，因為我們常在明知自已應該培養新習慣、去除舊習慣的情況下，依然積習難改。十七世紀英國詩人德萊登(John Dryden)說：「我們養成習慣以後，便受到習慣的操縱。」如果習慣做拼命三郎，從小就受到這種習慣的制約，那麼想要脫離陀螺式的生活，就難上加難了。至於享樂主義式的生活型態，不但有弊無利，還會令人上癮，難以割捨。想改善生活品質，有個比較容易也比較可行的做法，那就是循序漸進地運用「快樂推進器」。

接觸比較短期且兼具意義和樂趣的活動，不像徹頭徹尾地改變生活那樣需要承受巨大心理壓力，也比較不會讓嘗試改變的人，以及他的家人、同事、朋友產生抗拒。一名希望轉換職業跑道的理財專員在改行當老師以前，不妨先嘗試每星期去學校當一次課後輔導義工，以便確定擔任教職是否真的能讓他兼顧現在和將來的利益。一位不愛教書而想轉往金融巿場另謀高就的老師，也不妨利用課餘時間操作股票，以確定他想像中的改變能否使他更快樂。「快樂推進器」可提供嘗試與犯錯的機會，而且風險很低，有助於我們磨練技藝，做最想做的事。


Tal Ben Shahar: 《更快樂：哈佛最受歡迎的一堂課》，(臺北巿：天下雜誌，2012)，頁194-195。